


Amanita Muscaria

by BrokenSwingSet



Category: Gravity Falls, Over the Garden Wall (Cartoon)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Dubious Ethics, Gnome King AU, Gnome King!Wirt, M/M, Minor Character Death
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-23
Updated: 2015-08-07
Packaged: 2018-04-10 19:33:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4404581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrokenSwingSet/pseuds/BrokenSwingSet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The beloved Gnome King AU of the Pinescone ship. We all know the basics: Wirt needs a partner and sends out his gnomes to find one. They come back with Mabel and Dipper's pissed. He comes to the rescue and becomes what Wirt was looking for in the first place. This is my adaption.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Alright, so, heads up: Wirt speaks differently in this story because of his history I've made up for this AU, which might make him a little OOC. Sorry about that. As for the rest of him, I tried to keep the little nerd as close to his lame-o self as I could. Don't worry though, he becomes more what everyone's used to when the Pines Twins come around.

He was still a child, a boy. How could he handle such a huge responsibility? Wirt knew it was selfish to blame his own dead father; asking his spirit why he couldn’t just hold out until Wirt was an adult. Not that Wirt would know any better by then either. But the thought of his father staying in charge to let Wirt learn the valuable lessons one needs to be taught enable to rule a small race, was something Wirt wished for. Small was an understatement. These were gnomes. Wirt was a lanky giant amongst them.

He sat at his wooden throne, cheek in hand, as he lazily looked over his people. Well not his people, he wasn’t actually one of them but he did hold power over them. When his grandfather first came to these quiet woods, he defeated the actual Gnome King, accidently claiming the title himself. It’s now been passed down to Wirt. If it weren’t for his mother leaving his father when he was a boy, Wirt would still be the Gnome Prince. A high title, but not a lot of responsibility, you see. All these little creatures looked up to him now. He was their god, however, he couldn’t help but just feel like a normal guy among them. He grew up with these little things, they took care of him and now he has to protect them, rule them. Maybe the earlier statement should be corrected. He was one of them. He hasn’t left the village, apart from a few adventures and woodland lessons with his elders. This was his home and even though he technically wasn’t one of them, he was one of them for all they cared anyway.

He sighed and looked up at the trees. It was late summer, almost fall. He yearned for the fall with its cool breeze and sweet smell. The colors of the woods never ceased to catch his breath and heart. He would sit and write and recite poetry for hours. Wirt looked over his small village. The gnomes worked about. Most of which hung around their small shacks. Others worked outside producing goods such as crops, furniture, clothing, etc. What was Wirt to do all day? Look after them? Was this all he would do? He sighed again leaning his head back against the throne only to have his red cap hit the wood. He reached up and pulled it down from his head to look at it. A simple red felt-like material in the shape cone. It was a crown to his people. He placed it back on his head. There was a small tug at his cloak.

“Prin- I mean King Wirt”, squeaked one of his subjects. “What is the matter? You seem…down?” The small creature tested his vocabulary, unsure what his new ruler would be like with this new power. Wirt pitied him. There was nothing to fear or worry. This young gnoman was one of Wirt’s friends. He was anointed to be Wirt’s second hand by Wirt’s father himself.

“I am...overwhelmed yet underwhelmed with my new responsibility, Meri”, he said leaning down to talk to the creature on a friendlier level. The Meri nodded, dirty blond beard shaking with him. 

“The role of ruler is complex but also simple, Sir”, Meri replied smiling gently. Wirt gave him a small grin in response before sinking back in his chair. He looked over to a shack where a gnome family resided. The mother and father sat just outside their front door. The gnady giggling softly as the gnoman whispered things to her while rubbing circles into her small hand. Their children ran over to them, jumping into the father’s lap happily. Wirt stared at them longingly. He wished his father was still with him. Meri looked up at his ruler before catching what he gazed upon. 

“Sir...perhaps you are lonely”, the creature offered hesitantly. Wirt’s brow furrowed before he peered down at Meri. He couldn’t deny the accusation, yet he felt no need to do anything about it. “There are bushelfuls of lovely gnadies who are more than ready to take your hand in marriage”, Meri continued. Surprised by the comment, Wirt sat up immediately and waved his hand.

“No, No. I’m not inter-”

“If not your hand then surely your bed”, Meri said winking. Wirt blushed before shaking his head.

“I don’t think that’s necessary, but thank you”, the young king replied awkwardly.

“Perhaps a gnoman then? We hold no qualms-”

“That’s quite alright, Meri!” Wirt yelped feeling a deep blush rise from his neck and a burning in his ears. Meri straightened himself out and there was silence for a moment. “The family made me think of my father and how much I miss him”, Wirt said quietly watching his people buzz around the village. Meri began to apologize but Wirt shook his head. “Though, I cannot say I am not lonely. I am your ruler and I feel taking part in those... _activities_ with my people”, he paused, taking a moment to think of what to say, “is taking advantage of them.” He looked down at Meri and smiled softly. “You know I am no gnome. Therefore, I shouldn’t wed a gnome. My father did not and his father before him did not. Don't you understand?” Meri nodded.

“A mission to find you a mate sounds wonderful, Sir”, Meri said gleefully. Wirt jumped slightly in his throne.

“No, no there’s no need for that. I’m just fine”, Wirt responded with his palms up.

“Don’t be silly. I promise we will find the perfect mate for you”, Meri said confidently standing in front of Wirt’s throne, just at his knees. Wirt stared him down, thinking everything over. If they did find a good mate, then he wouldn’t be lonely anymore would he? But at the same time he didn’t want to be a bother. His people had plenty of other tasks to do and adding this on would be troublesome in some way, right? 

“King Wirt, please, let us do this for you. It is the least we can do for our ruler”, Meri begged with a kind smile. Wirt rolled his eyes with a grin. 

“Alright, fine. But, please, make sure you pick a good one. You know me so it shouldn’t be that hard. Take a small team with you and be careful. Humans can be very rude to gnomes”, Wirt warned, telling the gnome what his father told him. Meri nodded excitingly before turning on heel and running to his shack. Wirt shook his head in admiration. He got up and grabbed his staff, on the end hung a small lantern. The sun was setting and the village candles needed to be lit. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading this and taking the time to leave kudos and comments. That's awesome of you :) I hope you enjoy this chapter.

“Mabel be careful! I don’t want to use up stuff in my new first aid kit,” Dipper shouted over a large boulder just above the stream. His twin sister jumped effortlessly from rock to rock across the bubbling brook with a sweet, determined smirk on her face. Once she reached the other side she turned back to her brother and crossed her arms. 

“What was that, Bro Bro?” Dipper rolled his eyes at the comment.

“Whatever, just...wait there, okay? Wait for me,” he said climbing down from the bolder just as his sister did. He reached a small patch of dirt just before the stream and then he began to cross. He wasn’t as adept at the act as Mabel, however, and while crossing the last the couple of rocks, his foot slipped causing him to fall right into the water.

“Great,” he groaned fixing his baseball cap immediately, then stood up and climbed onto dry land. 

“Nice going, Dip,” Mabel teased, poking at her brother’s stomach.

“Shove it. Let’s just keep going,” he replied curtly as he brushed past his sister angrily.

“I don’t know what all the rush is about. We aren’t even looking for anything today. We’re literally taking a walk in the woods!” She complained as she walked beside him.

“There’s always something to be found, Mabel. Especially in these woods,” Dipper explained wiping some water and sweat from his face. Mabel huffed.

“Yeah, well, we could at least stop to eat our lunch. I’m hungry,” his sister replied. Dipper groaned audibly before stopping and stamping his wet tennis shoes on the ground.

“Fine! We’ll eat but then after that you gotta stop with the complaining. You’re worse than Pacifica sometimes,” Dipper said giving in and taking off his backpack. Mabel glared at him before flipping her hair. Dipper then pulled out two peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and two water bottles. 

They both sat in a patch of moss on the floor of the forest eating in silence. The day was beautiful. Everything was in summer bloom. The forest was green as could be with rays of golden sunshine streaming down from cracks in the canopy. Dipper looked over at his sister who was avoiding his gaze. 

“Alright, I’m sorry for being moody. I don’t know what’s gotten into me,” he admitted to his twin beside him. She cracked a smile before looking up at him. 

“Yeah, but you’re always cranky so I’m sorry for being, I don’t know, annoying and stuff,” she replied quietly as she gently elbowed her sibling in the side.

“You’re always annoying,” he replied with a chuckle while rolling his eyes.

“And that makes us a pair! Twinsies,” she said shrilly as she pulled the bill of Dipper’s cap down into his face jokingly. He smiled and ruffled her hair. They both laughed about it and finished their meal. As they started their casual adventure again Mabel began to excitingly fawn over the flowers in that part of the forrest. Dipper watched her, secretly taking note of the flowers, as well. He stopped short. He should know these flowers if they had come this way before.

“Uh, Mabel, have we come this way before?” he asked looking around for familiar surroundings. His sibling was admiring the purple flowers by her knees. 

“No, I don’t think so. I wanted to go somewhere we hadn’t gone before so you wouldn’t be searching for something in particular,” she smiled as she turned around with a handful of flowers of differing colors and size.

“Yeah, well, thanks for that. Now I’m gonna be recording everything for now on,” he announced while taking out his notepad and pencil.

“Just have fun and enjoy nature, Bro Bro,” she replied smelling the flowers deeply. Dipper huffed.

“This is fun for me, Mabel, you know that,” he said peering over at the flowers in her hands and writing down their qualities. Mabel wandered ahead of him and he followed, pencil still sliding across the paper.

“Dipper! You gotta see this!” Mabel yelled from across the brush and behind some trees. Dipper looked up and quickly made his way around to her only to stop right in his tracks. Mabel stood next to a huge red topped mushroom. It was so large it towered over her, leaving a shadow in its wake. Dipper stood in awe with his mouth agape. It was the largest mushroom he had ever seen. The stalk was slim and just about pure white, above it was an eggshell, almost yellow skirt that hung from the white spot speckled, shiny red cap. It was just like a regular red capped mushroom, except it had to be at least twenty feet tall. Dipper ran over to Mabel and they both stood under its hovering cap. 

“This is incredible. Like, I’ve seen big mushrooms. Mushrooms as big as me but never one as big as this...giant”, Dipper said in awe as he took out his notepad. Mabel retreated a few yards back to take a picture, using her brother for scale. She then ran right back and reached out to touch the gills of the gigantic fungus. Dipper grabbed her wrist before her fingers could even touch it, though.

“If it’s anything like a normal red cap then it’s poisonous. I’m not taking any chances,” he cautioned, releasing her. Mabel nodded taking back her hand and gazing up at the fungus.

“How do you think it got so big?” she asked walking around the stalk. Dipper was taking notes feverishly.

“I-I’m not sure. I’ll have to collect more data. There might be more; smaller ones, bigger ones, just as tall ones,” he replied looking back and forth at the huge underside of the cap and his notepad. Mabel stood on the other side, crouching down to look at the base. Smaller, different mushrooms grew here; ones she recognized. She was about to say something, but she heard a twig snap behind her. She stood up and peered around her.

“Hey, Dip, did you-” 

There was a small sound of struggle and Dipper’s head shot up. He jumped around the stalk to see his sister gone. Fear spread through his chest.

“Mabel?!” he yelled into the forest. He heard the small patter of feet across the soft woodland dirt and he took off into that direction. Through some bushes and around a shrub he was able to see his sister being carted away by what seemed to be....gnomes?

He was about to jump out and get her back, but something was blown in his face and then he fell to the ground, becoming unconscious.


	3. Chapter 3

Wirt sat with legs crossed in the community garden wistfully admiring the leaves of his village’s crops. He had always felt in tune with nature, even though he wasn’t a woodland creature. He ran his fingers gently through the leaves of some mint, with a lazy smile on his face. The garden gave him peace. He had learned a lot about life just by sitting and observing what was before him and he was thankful for that. He got to his feet with a sigh to check on the rest of the crops. The garden wasn’t his to own, but he felt it was his responsibility so he made it so. It also gave him something to do. His father wasn’t as active in the community as he was, but Wirt was sure that doing this made him a good ruler in a way. His people could stop seeing him as such a monarch and more of a simple overseer.

The sound of cheering grabbed his attention. He turned and saw gnomes running towards the main path with glee. Wirt carefully made his way out of the garden, seeing that Meri and his group had made their way back with what looked to be a human girl in a wooden cart. Wirt stopped short, quickly brushing the dirt off his cape and pants, as well as straightening his pointy hat. He then started to make his way over with a shy smile. As he neared, it became apparent that the girl was unconscious and once Wirt realised this he felt horribly overcome with guilt and worry.

“Just as we promised, Sir. A very beautiful, just right, human partner for you,” Meri said exuberantly with a face splitting grin when Wirt joined his side. The gnome king looked down at the girl with somber eyes. He couldn’t deny this gift from his people. I shouldn’t call it gift, he thought to himself, that’s a bit creepy. With one last glance at the girl, he turned to Meri putting a confident smile on his face. 

“Thank you, Meri. Let’s find her a suitable place to rest until she wakes up,” he replied shifting and looking around at the wooden shacks where the gnomes lives. He stood there thinking for a moment until Meri piped up.

“Couldn’t she stay in your home until she wakes up? That way you could keep an eye on her and when she finally wakes you can explain everything to her,” offered Meri. Wirt felt it would be a little uncomfortable for her stay in his home- no, his bed of all things- but it was a good idea so he accepted it. With a nod, Wirt praised Meri for his creativity, before he led the cart and its operators down the path to his shack. It was a little bigger than most of the others, by him being king and all. The only different was he had a loft for bedrooms, while the other shacks only had one floor. He opened the door and turned back to the cart with the girl. The gnomes began to pick her up but Wirt wasn’t going to have any of that. He didn’t want them manhandling her. Gnomes were especially clumsy, contrary to popular belief. 

“It’s fine. I can carry her in. You all can go back to your business. Thank you,” Wirt bowing his head slightly. He then slid his arms under the girl’s knees and braced her shoulders against his other arm to pick her up. She laid limp in his arms and it made him feel sick. Closing the door behind him with a kick, he carried her through his shack and up to his small room in the loft. Looking down at his bed made him remember, with much relief, that there was his old room she could use. He quickly made his way to the even smaller room, across the threshold and laid her down in the bed carefully. He stood there, looking her over. She was pretty, no doubt. She had very, very long brown hair. Some of which was swooped gently across her forehead. She wore an oversized, pink, knitted top with shooting star on it and a purple skirt. Wirt suddenly blushed and turned away. He had no right to gaze upon her like this. He was revolted with himself. Wirt turned back to pull a light blanket over her before leaving the room to sit in his lounge on the floor below. The teenage king took off his cap and placed it on wooden table before hanging his head in his hands. He was way over his head. How could he do this to a stranger? His first impression on a human outside the village was going to be awful. He rubbed his face over in dread. What if she freaked out and ran back to her village then sent warriors to kill his people? Wirt didn’t think could handle a war. He didn’t think his father could handle a war. To his understanding, there hadn’t been much contact with the people and things outside the village, apart from the occasional woodland creature causing trouble. No human had ventured here on their own, though some of the gnomes have reported a man observing them while they did their off-territory duties a long time ago. Wirt groaned. Why did he think this was a good idea? He never thought things through and now he was really paying for it.

He stood up, deciding pacing would help. 

It didn’t. He paced for a good twenty minutes and it only made him more anxious. He let himself fall back into his chair with a huff. _I am not fit for a king_ , he thought to himself. Suddenly, the creaking of floorboards above him broke his thoughts. He sat there, completely frozen while looking at the ladder that led to the loft as if he was waiting for it to give him answers. The floorboards groaned into the air as hesitant feet slowly made their way across the threshold. Wirt began feel sweat acclimate on his upper lip before he wiped it off and grabbed his cap from the table and placed it on his head with wobbly hands. He looked back up to the ladder and saw a pair of legs just at the cutout in the floor above. 

“Hello?” called the girl from the top of the ladder. Wirt stood up and anxiously fiddled with bottom edge of his cape.

“H-Hello,” he replied shakily. “Please, uh, come down.” The girl carefully stepped down the ladder then turned to Wirt with a wary stance. “You’re probably wondering what you’re doing here, sorry,” Wirt said after a moment of the two staring at each other.

“Yeah, I’ve got a lot of questions for ‘ya and I’m not entirely happy I’m in some strangers...house right now,” she said looking at her surroundings then back at Wirt with a glare.

“I know, I apologize sincerely. I don’t really know how to explain this,” Wirt replied, his mouth feeling dry before the girl. She crossed her arms and squinted at him.

“Well, you can start by telling me who you are.”

“My name is, uh, Wirt and I am the overseer of this village”, he said straightening himself out. Saying his title always gave him a bit of confidence. The girl looked him over before peering out the window. 

“What is this village? Where am I? Why am I here?” she asked returning her gaze to him as she fired out the questions like bullets. He swallowed hard.

“This my gnome village. You’re in the woods. And that’s a bit complicated.”

“So those were gnomes that attacked me? That’s pretty cool”, she said with a smirk as she scratched her chin before dropping her hand to cross her arms again in defiance with lowered brows. “But also not cool. Why did they do that? Did you tell them to?” 

“I-uh, yeah, I kind of did, but I’m really sorry about it. I didn’t realise what I was doing. And if it’s any solace, I didn’t ask for you personally, just, uh, any human in general…” he said taking a step near her, still fiddling with his hands nervously. She held her ground, eyes looking him up and down. Wirt suddenly felt small even though he was quite a bit taller than her.

“Why do you need a human?” she questioned, a hint of fear in her eye. Wirt felt horrible. God, he really hated himself at that moment.

“I don’t need one. I was lonely and my assistant said I could use a partner,” he admitted apprehensively. “...And I definitely don’t want to partner a gnome,” he said widening his eyes and turning away as he thought about it again. He shook his head. Definitely, definitely not. 

“So...you had me kidnapped so I could be your girlfriend?” The girl inquired. Wirt winced. He had only heard the term girlfriend once. No, he wasn’t looking for that.

“More like, wife,” he said with disgust in himself. The girl cackled, making Wirt jump. He watched her laugh while he stood surprised and incredibly confused.

“Well, Buddy, that’s definitely not gonna happen,” she said regaining her composure. Wirt nodded guiltily, but he was still in shock by her attitude.

“I know, I completely apologize and you are welcome to leave and never come back. That is perfectly fine,” Wirt gushed anxiously while walking towards the door. 

“Wait!” the girl yelped while jumping in front of him. He stumbled back slightly. There was an adventurous gleam in her eye. “I don’t wanna leave yet.” Okay, now Wirt was really confused.

“I don’t understand. Aren’t you upset about being stolen away from your village and almost forced to be my wife?” Wirt questioned as he subconsciously fixed his cape and cone.

“Psh, yeah, but you have ‘I’m super sorry I’m an idiot’ written on your forehead so I forgive you. Plus, I wanna check your place out. This a gnome village!” she said leaping to the door and yanking it open. She stood in the doorway with her hands on her hips before turning back to look at Wirt. “Come on show me around, Mr. Big Gnome.”

“Of course,” Wirt replied slowly giving her a warm grin. “Um, I didn’t catch your name.”

“Oh, I’m Mabel,” she held out her hand for him to shake. 

“It would be my pleasure to show you my village, Mabel.”

***

Dipper opened his eyes slowly, his head still swimming making him feel groggy. He lifted his head and pushed himself up with his hands, immediately registering something wasn’t right. His hands were covered in dirt and he felt his cheek dusted with earth, as well. 

“What the hell,” he groaned aloud as he stood up, rubbing his eyes for clearer vision. He brushed off his hands on his shorts as he ran over what had happened in his head. He and Mabel. In the forest. Okay. Giant mushroom. Then…suddenly his blood ran cold and felt nauseous with fear. 

“Oh, no. _Mabel_!” he yelled, snapping his head around to look at the place she was last. Nothing. It had been a good several hours since anyone or anything had been there. Judging by the setting sun, it was now around eight o’clock. 

“Crap! Mabel!” He shouted with a cupped hand, standing there for a moment in hope she would call back. Nothing. He took off in the direction he last saw her, quickly noticing the tread marks left by the wooden cart. His heart was pounding, threatening to burst out of his chest. _Grunkle Stan is gonna kill me_ , he thought. _How could I let my own sister be stolen by...gnomes_! He franticly followed the path, keeping a good eye out for gnomes and wildlife. 

“No damn gnome is taking _my_ sister,” he said racing through the forest on the path left behind.


End file.
